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| The selections can be overwhelming, so you'll want helpful advice |
When the time arrives to go shopping for a wedding dress
most brides will gather together their nearest and dearest and those they trust
and set out on a shopping expedition.
Appointments will be made and lunch will be organised (hopefully
somewhere nice and with a glass of wine thrown in for good measure).
So when you put together the invitation list for shopping who immediately springs to mind? Your Mum? Best friend? Bridesmaids? The mother-in-law to be? Aunties, cousins, grannies? From experience this list could go on. Truth be told I imagine giving out the invitations to the dress shopping must be up there with the battle that can rage over the invitations to the wedding itself. The apprehension over offending Aunty Marg by not inviting her can cause stress and tension. Just what you need when planning a wedding and preparing for an exciting shopping trip for your dress!
It can be tough deciding who to bring, but I’ve pulled together a list of people who I would generally say to avoid (unless of course you really, really love them and want them there. Just be prepared.)
So when you put together the invitation list for shopping who immediately springs to mind? Your Mum? Best friend? Bridesmaids? The mother-in-law to be? Aunties, cousins, grannies? From experience this list could go on. Truth be told I imagine giving out the invitations to the dress shopping must be up there with the battle that can rage over the invitations to the wedding itself. The apprehension over offending Aunty Marg by not inviting her can cause stress and tension. Just what you need when planning a wedding and preparing for an exciting shopping trip for your dress!
It can be tough deciding who to bring, but I’ve pulled together a list of people who I would generally say to avoid (unless of course you really, really love them and want them there. Just be prepared.)
The ‘Poker Guest’
Why have I called them the ‘Poker Guest’? Because they are totally unaware of body
language and unable to read if somebody is happy or otherwise – you could win a
fortune from them in a poker game!
‘Poker Guests’ are amazingly happy to be with you on your
day shopping but somehow seem not to know you at all. You will be in the changing room starting to
beam as the lacing is done up, next will come shoes and accessories by which
time you will be positively glowing. The
sales assistant who has known you for all of 45 minutes by this point knows
that you like what you are wearing, they know it makes you feel amazing and that
you are mentally wondering if this is ‘the one’.
As you step out of the changing room, grinning from ear to ear, ‘Poker Guest’ will remain completely oblivious to your obvious joy and immediately dismiss the dress out of hand and declare it “awful”. Your smile fades and you’re left wondering if you are brave enough to wear a dress that somebody who is close to you so strongly dislikes.
As you step out of the changing room, grinning from ear to ear, ‘Poker Guest’ will remain completely oblivious to your obvious joy and immediately dismiss the dress out of hand and declare it “awful”. Your smile fades and you’re left wondering if you are brave enough to wear a dress that somebody who is close to you so strongly dislikes.
‘Poker Guests’ tend to pride themselves on giving honest opinions (this will not be limited to wedding dresses) and consider themselves the family member who has to get things sorted.
Only bring a ‘Poker Guest’ if you are strong enough to do what you want and you want and able to dismiss their opinion when it is not the same as your own.
The Projectionist
So called because they continuously project their taste onto
you - the dresses they pull out on the rail, the accessories, the veil, the
bridesmaid dresses, EVERYTHING!
Now this might not be a problem if you share really similar tastes with this person, however if you are looking for something elegantly vintage whilst ‘The Projectionist’ believes that no bride is complete without a huge gown and 3 tier veil then you might have a problem.
A skilled sales assistant will help you avoid the overwhelming layers of satin and tulle that ‘The Projectionist’ wants you to try on but depending on how vocal they are with their vision you may find that you have to relent (this usually comes from our wanting not to offend people – I mean how do you tell your treasured guest that, quite frankly, their taste wouldn’t be out of place on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?).
So you emerge from the changing room, resplendent in acres of fabric and sparkles, a million miles from the image that you had in mind for your big day, and ‘The Projectionist’ jumps up with a squeal of utter delight, a small clap of her hands and a declaration that it is totally “gorgeous” and is absolutely “the one!”
How do you get out of that one? Again you have to remain strong to your own image and find a way to politely say thanks but no thanks. However, be warned, this may become the dress that she compares everything else to and her opinion on anything else from this point on becomes slightly redundant.
‘The Projectionist’ is likely to be your friend who decides where you should go on a Friday night out and buys you birthday presents that aren’t really to your taste but you saw her admiring in the shop window only a couple of months ago.
Now this might not be a problem if you share really similar tastes with this person, however if you are looking for something elegantly vintage whilst ‘The Projectionist’ believes that no bride is complete without a huge gown and 3 tier veil then you might have a problem.
A skilled sales assistant will help you avoid the overwhelming layers of satin and tulle that ‘The Projectionist’ wants you to try on but depending on how vocal they are with their vision you may find that you have to relent (this usually comes from our wanting not to offend people – I mean how do you tell your treasured guest that, quite frankly, their taste wouldn’t be out of place on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?).
So you emerge from the changing room, resplendent in acres of fabric and sparkles, a million miles from the image that you had in mind for your big day, and ‘The Projectionist’ jumps up with a squeal of utter delight, a small clap of her hands and a declaration that it is totally “gorgeous” and is absolutely “the one!”
How do you get out of that one? Again you have to remain strong to your own image and find a way to politely say thanks but no thanks. However, be warned, this may become the dress that she compares everything else to and her opinion on anything else from this point on becomes slightly redundant.
‘The Projectionist’ is likely to be your friend who decides where you should go on a Friday night out and buys you birthday presents that aren’t really to your taste but you saw her admiring in the shop window only a couple of months ago.
The Comparison Guest
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| We suspect you won't want your wedding compared to anyone else's |
This is likely to be a friend who has been married in the
past couple of years, and is so named because everything you do in your wedding planning is compared to her
experience.
The day will be peppered with phrases such as:
The day will be peppered with phrases such as:
“When I went shopping...”
“When I tried on
dresses...”
“Oh I tried that one
on!”
“Remember on my
wedding day...”
They have miraculously forgotten all the stress of organising a wedding and believe themselves to be experts in everything bridal by virtue of having been a bride themselves.
These guests can make things confusing, especially when the information they so freely give you conflicts with the information you are getting from your wedding supplier (this is not exclusive to wedding dresses, it includes cakes, photographers, florists, etc).
Of course not all recent brides fall into this category, but if you start to become overwhelmed with the level of ‘sharing’ and comparisons it might be best to edit the amount of information that you share with this person.
They have miraculously forgotten all the stress of organising a wedding and believe themselves to be experts in everything bridal by virtue of having been a bride themselves.
These guests can make things confusing, especially when the information they so freely give you conflicts with the information you are getting from your wedding supplier (this is not exclusive to wedding dresses, it includes cakes, photographers, florists, etc).
Of course not all recent brides fall into this category, but if you start to become overwhelmed with the level of ‘sharing’ and comparisons it might be best to edit the amount of information that you share with this person.
So who do you take
shopping with you?
Remember first of all that a good bridal sales assistant will listen to what
you want, and will, in the most diplomatic way, help you fight your corner, and
actually find the right thing for you.
To compliment that, you ideally want to bring somebody who is honest, diplomatic and who understands that it is nothing to do with their own personal taste!
Your taste, and what you want in your wedding dress, is the most important thing and your guests should recognise this. What you want is somebody who will reply honestly when you ask “does my bum look big in this?” not the person who is too busy thinking about whether they would wear that dress themselves!
To compliment that, you ideally want to bring somebody who is honest, diplomatic and who understands that it is nothing to do with their own personal taste!
Your taste, and what you want in your wedding dress, is the most important thing and your guests should recognise this. What you want is somebody who will reply honestly when you ask “does my bum look big in this?” not the person who is too busy thinking about whether they would wear that dress themselves!
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